Is It What You Think? You May Be Surprised!
People, communities, governments and worse, loved ones, can do some pretty awful things that negatively affect our lives! Perhaps you have been betrayed, abused or wronged in some way. If this applies to you, I am sorry that you had a bad experience! It shouldn’t have happened, it didn’t need to happen and you certainly didn’t deserve it!
I can hear you saying, “Finally, someone who gets it and understands!”
And I am truly sorry if you had a painful experience(s)! Yet stop reading just a moment. Focus on what is happening within you. Can you notice your ego appreciating the sympathy I just offered?
The trap here is that no amount of sympathy can satisfy the ego. Your ego wants to keep the wrong that you suffered active believing that by keeping it active it’s keeping you safe. Yet it’s making you a continuous victim!
It’s our human ego that wants justice and punishment. Yet even when justice and punishment are served it isn’t enough! The lie is that anything outside of you can heal your internal pain!
Will It Define You?
So therein lies a very important question. Do you want to let something that “happened to you” define who you are?
The Mechanics of Resentment
When you harbor resentment, due to the Law of Attraction, that energy continues to grow within and becomes worse over time as you give your attention to it. So then, more bad feelings (thoughts) of that same energy come – you feel worse and you think about it more – and then more bad feelings (thoughts) come - you feel worse and you think about it more - and the cycle continues!
You may be well beyond the experience, yet as you think about it you continue to have the same experience as though it were happening today! For this reason, finding groups and talking about the situation frequently with others is generally not helpful unless the focus is on healing and moving beyond it.
Furthermore, you draw similar new experiences as the Law of Attraction matches those components to your vibration! Well that doesn’t seem fair at all! But it’s the Law!
Can You Notice?
If this subject applies to you, can you see that your constant focus on the “event” has brought more of “what you don’t want” and hindered your growth? Can you notice that resentment, anger and bitterness don’t feel good?
I bet you can find where you are holding the resentment or bitterness energy in your body! Again, stop reading for a minute. (Check around your heart, stomach or solar plexus region. These are most common areas we hold on to this energy.) Doesn’t it feel heavy and uncomfortable? Is it time to resolve the discomfort?
Consoling Your Ego
Ultimately I believe it is a natural (egoic) human desire to have the person or group who has caused harm to understand how their actions have affected us. (We harbor resentment and bitterness when they don’t care, don’t understand or won’t listen.) So it may help to consider the following.
While it may not happen while the person or group is living this physical life, each of us has a “life review” at some point after our physical death. The person’s spirit literally relives their physical life experiencing how their actions or inactions have affected others from the other’s perspective. When surrounded by Unconditional Love, the “rightness” or “wrongness” of actions becomes very clear.
Now if you want to stretch your “spiritual muscles,” consider that people act poorly to others out of fear, distrust and not feeling good themselves. They “act out” in an unconscious effort to feel better.
Consider looking at the wrong-doer(s) with love and compassion, understanding that the typical human condition is one of unconsciousness. On top of that, “bad guys” or unhelpful spirits can jump in and significantly amplify and influence human behavior. (See Is Dark Energy Real and 5 Potential Vulnerabilities for more information on this subject.)
Don’t Be A Doormat!
However, if you are in some sort of abusive situation now, remove yourself from the situation! We are not talking about allowing abuse in any way! Find the strength to seek assistance if necessary!
The Mechanics of Forgiveness
So what is forgiveness? Forgiveness is a conscious decision and focus to stop harboring resentment and bitterness that arises from the awareness that holding on to the negative energy is harming YOU. Some call this “surrender.” You stop listening to the ego. You let it go.
When or if you decide to release the energy, you are not approving of the bad behavior that affected you! As a matter of fact, one should not “forgive and forget.” Instead the practice is to release the negative energy while remaining vigilant.
You may decide to never see the person or group again. Yet you have released the energy for your own good. It is true that since we are all connected your release of animosity toward the other will on some level benefit them. Yet forgiveness is more about your well-being.
Even when the forgiveness decision has been made there is a potential problem. It’s possible, even likely, that you have formed a habit around complaining and focusing on the issue(s). Therefore, it requires awareness to notice when your mind starts to play and retell the same story. You’ll have to consciously decide to stop the thought process and shift your focus.
I have used the technique of noticing the negative thought(s), then saying to myself, “Cancel that thought, I choose to focus on fill in the blank” (and shift your focus to something that feels better for you.) Do this every time you notice the negativity. You are retraining your subconscious and your ego. You are taking control!
Self Forgiveness
What about when you need to forgive yourself? Self forgiveness may be the most difficult because we are generally hardest on ourselves. Yet everything described above still applies.
If you are reading this article you are or you have the desire to be conscious and aware. With that in mind, it’s quite likely that you were doing the best you could with the information you had at the time with any actions that were taken.
Allow yourself to learn from the experience and release the energy around it. (Many times this is shame energy, one of the lowest vibrational energies by the way.) You may have to continue forgiving yourself over time should it come up again.
Even if something were willfully done, like John Newton who was involved in the slave trade for years, he found forgiveness is always available! John wrote the words to the famous hymn, Amazing Grace.
“Amazing Grace” describes the Unconditional Love that he discovered while the lyric, “…was blind but now I see,” describes his epiphany, shifting from unconsciousness to consciousness. John experienced a heartfelt shift and was able to release the energy.
If this applies to you, of course a heartfelt shift is required. Yet whatever your experience, it may have been just the lesson that your soul needed in order to move beyond it for good!
Ultimately self-forgiveness is a decision to stop beating yourself up because you know it’s not helpful to YOU. You accept and surrender to “what was.” You release the energy having compassion for yourself. We are all learning! None of us are expected to be perfect!
Is it time to forgive yourself for something?
Conclusion
Forgiveness is a decision to release the toxic energy toward another or yourself for your own good. Resentment and bitterness will never bring Peace. Releasing animosity or shame will have many benefits, the least of which is simply feeling better!